**Original idea changed, due to scheduling issues, length of the commercial being way over a minute, and not enough sexiness.**
*Crackers in the shape of tires flavored with a asado beef flavor from Argentinian locals.*
One dark evening in Buenas Aries,
Argentina, I stepped out of my hostel to go meet up with some señoritas I met
on the bus ride in when I was attacked by three large matóns. They were at least 7 feet tall and equipped
with a car bumper, a tree log, and a modified recliner with a large wood
attached to it, forming it into a club of giants! It was the fight of my life! Luckily, I got a few cheap shots in before
they could break my knees and I took off.
Alas, the injuries I received had done their damage – two broken
fingers, concussed, a bruised quadricep, and minor blindness from when they
tried to burn my eyes. I ran to the
first hiding spot I could make out – a cargo ship. Seeing a bunch of tires, I quickly piled them
around me to hide. Exhausted, I fell
asleep.
I woke up to a full moon and the
smell of some deep, rich barbeque. The
seamen were barbequing the most delicious and rich aroma I have ever smelled…but
it should have been to no surprise, as the Argentinians are some of the world’s
prominent and considerable beef consumers.
After the seamen passed out from eating and drinking, I had to have a
sample of their barbeque. I snuck over
to the barbeque holding my breath and shoeless so I would make no noise, and
tasted some of the best slightly burnt, air staled best barbeque before escaping
by diving into the Salado River.
I came across a village of primitives
of whom I had no way of conversating, but they took care of me and I gave them
a piece of the barbeque. They cooked it
for me, and I thought about how great it would have been to have it on my bus
rides through Argentina, and this is where the Asado Tire Crackers were born.
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