I, Phileus Fogg, arrived in the
shady country of Argentina when my hot air balloon broke over the frigid rocks
of the Andes Mountains and I landed in the outskirts of the range next to a
river. My luck fell me upon the most
beautiful señorita…legs as long as Argentina, skin as soft as a pillow made of
clouds, and a voice that made my heart voluntarily contract. She came to
my aid and fed me water, but she had three brothers…more like giants! Now these brothers didn’t find any man good
enough for their sister, especially a white man! They attacked me with a claymore, a tree log,
and a modified recliner with a large wood attached to it! Luckily, I got
a few cheap shots in before they could break my knees. I ran…for hours! The injuries had done
their damage – two broken fingers, concussed, a bruised quadricep, and minor
blindness from when they tried to burn my eyes. I ran to the first hiding
spot I saw – a cargo ship. I quickly piled a bunch of old bus tires around
me to hide. Exhausted, I fell asleep.
The aroma of the richest, sizzling
beef struck my nostrils awake. The seamen were barbequing the most
delicious and rich smell I have ever had massage my nasal senses…but it should
have been to no surprise, as the Argentinians are some of the world’s prominent
and considerable beef consumers. After the seamen passed out from eating
and drinking, I had to have a sample of their barbeque. I sneaked over to
the barbeque holding my breath and shoeless so I would make no noise, grabbed a
bag of genuine steak rub and canister of aji molido, a premier Argentinian
spice before diving into the frozen water and swimming to safety to the sound of gun shots from the
seamen.
No comments:
Post a Comment